You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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