im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize