I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish i was in the wii world.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
