Please, let me fuck your mom
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
