i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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