Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
