Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think your dad took our porno
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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