Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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