I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
