I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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