dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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