your room smells of hookers.
And success
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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