I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
