Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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