Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
