i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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