y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
