is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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