and you said cock pushups were impossible
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
