just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
