I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
COCAINE IS GR8
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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