is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
