we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
