i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
