Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
