I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
