RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
