my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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