im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh god it's open bar.
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