So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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