If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
