you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
