WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
