Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
