Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I supernannyed him into submission
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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