Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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