The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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