where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
