Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
