Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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