Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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