Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
