there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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