Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
