She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
