Pregnant stripper...not hot.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
