whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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