Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
