Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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