you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
