...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
is it fun? or sober?
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