i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
