take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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