Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
