You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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