did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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