she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
