just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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