how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
