She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
