he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize