I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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