Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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