i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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