just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
